Practical ways to show up — beyond “let me know if you need anything”
Imagine that your coworker has been away from work on bereavement leave because of a significant loss and is now returning to the workplace. How do you support them in their transition back into the work environment, and make sure their experience of workplace grief is a positive one? What do you say? What do you do?
Navigating workplace grief can be challenging, both for the grieving employee and their bereaved colleagues. You may not be able to fix their heartbreak of losing someone, but with compassion and care you can ensure that their transition back into the working environment after loss is a supportive experience. To help you help them, let’s look at common questions that may arise and simple strategies that can help make the return to work after a death easier:
- Be present. Be present. When returning to work, grieving employees dealing with workplace grief need supportive colleagues to discuss the challenges they may face in transitioning back into their roles. They aren’t their “old selves” and will need time to navigate work matters as they adjust to their new reality post-loss. Grief isn’t linear, and everyone’s experience is different.
- Prioritise open communication. Anchor your conversations with grieving employees about how they feel about returning to work. Workplace grief can be an isolating experience, so start by simply acknowledging their loss and expressing your condolences. Saying nothing may further isolate someone who already feels like they’re on a lonely island.
- Avoid making assumptions. While you may have experienced loss yourself or have an idea of what it may be like to return to work after a loss, do your best to put assumptions about how a grieving employee is feeling aside. Along the same lines, try to resist the reflex of comparing your personal experience with loss to theirs, as workplace grief affects everyone differently.
- Extend compassion and not judgement about an employee’s capacity. It is not uncommon for those who grieve to struggle with focus, concentration, and decision-making. In addition, multitasking may be complex and require that the employee receive additional support from colleagues or reduce their workload. Workplace grief often impacts performance, so approaching these situations with understanding is crucial.
- Adopt an active listening approach. Make ongoing efforts to engage with your colleague fully, both verbally and nonverbally. For example, consider turning your phone on “Do Not Disturb” and keeping it out of reach. Dialling in the conversation with your colleague can offer them excellent and much-needed support as they manage workplace grief.
- Be flexible and explore various options. Teams often offer employees flexibility in scheduling or completing work tasks. Seek maximum flexibility whenever possible, focusing on keeping the employee engaged and successfully transitioning and reintegrating into the work environment. It’s OK to ask the grieving employee what accommodations they may need in their work. For example, do they need different hours? Can their workload be temporarily adjusted? What specific support do they need from you? In what realistic ways might you be able to support?
- Check in regularly on how the employee is doing. Make sure you’re periodically meeting 1:1 with your colleague. By checking in regularly over a longer period, grieving employees will experience a greater sense of predictability. During the check-in, invite the employee to help identify creative solutions. Actively pursuing follow-up demonstrates your care and concern about your colleague’s well-being.
By implementing these strategies, teams can create more inclusive, healthy, and compassionate workplaces where employees can thrive, particularly during the most challenging seasons of their lives.
Janet Gwilliam-Wright and Dr. Mekel Harris are grief specialists and the co-founders of Bloomwell Partners.
