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Young Widowhood, Signs & Postmortem Sperm Retrieval with Ellidy Pullin & Lotte Bowser

This week we are joined by two incredible ladies, whose stories you won’t believe until you hear them. Ell Pullin and Lotte Bowser are two friends brought together by the unimaginable loss of their partners, world champion snowboarder Alex ‘Chumpy’ Pullin, and UK music agent Ben Kouijzer. Both Ben and Chumpy are known for their magnetic energy, their passion for life and music, and they have both left a huge imprint in the lives and hearts of everyone who knew them. 

Shortly after Chumpy’s sudden death while out spearfishing in July 2020, Ellidy announced a miracle pregnancy with his baby after finding out about a procedure called postmortem sperm retrieval. After two rounds of IVF, Ellidy gave birth to Minnie Alex Pullin in October 2021.

Lotte recounts her harrowing experience of when she flew to Mexico in October 2020 where Ben was undergoing alternative cancer treatments to try and save his life. One morning Ben was rushed into hospital and separated from Lotte after contracting Covid-19. Devastatingly, this was the last time she saw him alive. 

Lotte and Ellidy are also both experiencing cumulative grief, after losing their dads only a short time after their partners died. Their bravery and resilience is nothing short of admirable, and this conversation is one that we are both thankful to have been a part of. 

We received loads of questions from our community for Lotte and El and have tried to include as many as possible. We also discuss: 

  • What it’s like to be young and widowed
  • Sudden death versus anticipatory grief
  • The power of asking for signs from the other side
  • Cumulative grief (dealing with multiple losses)
  • Different grieving styles – grieving on the go vs sitting with the feelings
  • What is postmortem sperm retrieval?
  • Future relationships after the loss of your partner

Prepare to be inspired by these two incredible women.

Links and further reading


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