Grief is a universal experience that we all go through at some point in our lives. Despite this, when we’re in the thick of it, it’s not unusual to often hear phrases like, ‘It never gets easier’, which can feel daunting and overwhelming.
What if we told you there was a simple question that could help you build the resilience to cope with loss?
During our recent podcast interview with resilience expert Dr Lucy Hone, a leading authority on resilience, she shared how the information she received after her daughter, Abi, died filled her with dread. None of it felt empowering, and the statistics of how the death would impact her family felt grim
As someone who had studied resilience for years, Lucy found herself looking into how she could apply her learnings to her personal experience of grief. And so her study into grief and resilience began. One of the things she discovered is that a key trait of resilient people is that they cultivate self-awareness. To do this, there’s a simple – yet powerful – question that can shift your perspective to find a renewed sense of strength.
Ask yourself, Is this helping me or harming me?
It can be applied to various aspects of your life when coping with grief. Maybe it’s how you’re taking care of yourself – are your habits and self-care routines truly supporting your well-being? It could also relate to the people you engage with – are they providing the support and understanding you need during this challenging time? How about the coping strategies you’ve adopted – are they constructive and adaptive or are you neglecting your self-care?
By consistently asking yourself this powerful question, you gain an opportunity to make informed decisions and take actions that align with your well-being. Over time, this practice can help you build resilience skills to cope when adversity strikes.
Resilience, the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties and adapt to life’s challenges, is not a fixed trait but a skill that can be developed and honed. Lucy’s work has shown us that resilience is not about avoiding pain and suffering but facing it head-on with a constructive mindset.
Want to learn more about building resilience, hear inspiring resilience quotes, and gain a deeper understanding of resilience’s definition and meaning? Listen to our full interview on how to build resilience with Dr Lucy Hone on the Good Mourning podcast here.
Give this simple question a try in your own life, and let us know what happens. It’s a small but powerful step toward a more resilient and empowered you.
Want to know more about cultivating resilience after loss? Check out our book, Good Mourning: Honest Conversations About Grief and Loss (you can grab a signed copy here).