Common ways anxiety shows up in grief
Grief anxiety shows up differently for everyone, but common experiences include irritability, restlessness, overwhelm, and physical tension. For many, it also includes brain fog, stress and anxiety that makes even basic tasks feel overwhelming.
Anxiety is something we talk about extensively in our grief book, Good Mourning: Honest conversations about grief and loss. We cover it a lot because it’s such an important topic to understand, especially for grievers. It’s more than just everyday worries; it’s a constant feeling of unease, fear, and apprehension. Grief and anxiety symptoms can manifest in various ways, too. Like rapid heart rate, trembling, excessive sweating, and avoidance behaviours (all the fun stuff).
Why grief triggers anxiety – and how to manage it with the stress bucket framework
Coping with significant changes and loss of any kind is stressful. As well as coping with grief, most of us have added life pressures. It’s a lot — and it’s often a recipe for grief anxiety. Looking after yourself can feel too hard when your whole world has changed. The stress bucket theory is an excellent way to understand how unchecked stress builds up. This theory was explained to us on the pod by psychotherapist and anxiety expert Joshua Fletcher (aka @anxietyjosh).
According to the theory, think of your stress tolerance as a bucket. We all have different-sized buckets, reflecting our unique abilities to handle stress. As we navigate the ups and downs of life, like minor irritations like traffic jams and major life events like a divorce, our bucket fills up. And when you’re also navigating grief anxiety, it doesn’t take much for that bucket to overflow. When it does, you’re left feeling physically and emotionally drained, experiencing classic grief and anxiety symptoms like panic, racing thoughts, and that all-too-familiar brain fog.
This overflow, in the form of stress, can ultimately give rise to anxiety and other mental health challenges. So yes – if you’ve been wondering, can grief cause anxiety? The short answer is: absolutely. And it’s far more common than people realise.
So what actually helps?
To manage anxiety due to grief, finding stress-releasing activities that you can do regularly is a must. Some things you could try are:
Digi-downtime. We live in a world where we’re aways on – it’s exhausting. A good way to properly unwind ais to avoid using your phone two hours before bed. This is great for de-stressing as it allows your mind to unwind. In turn, this increases your chances of a better night’s sleep, which is essential for managing grief anxiety and regulating your nervous system.
Nature is nurture. Being out in nature is a brilliant stress buster. Plant your feet on the grass to feel grounded. Walk the dog somewhere quiet. Go for a dunk in the ocean. Do some gardening. Go for a run around the park. You get the gist.
Breathe! Breathing correctly is one of the best ways to regulate stress, release emotions and relax. Most of us don’t breathe deeply, and if we’re not breathing properly, it can impact our stress levels. Box breathing is an excellent method to help calm your nervous system and manage anxiety due to grief. Here are some great breathwork tips to manage anxiety that you can practise right now.
Want to learn more about grief anxiety and managing brain fog, stress and anxiety after loss? You can also catch our full interview with Josh below – it’s one of our favourite podcast episodes we’ve ever recorded.
Author bio:
Sally Douglas is a grief educator, speaker, certified breathwork practitioner and coach, and co-founder of Good Mourning – a globally top-ranked grief podcast with over 1.2 million downloads. Following the sudden death of her mother, Sally became passionate about helping others navigate grief with more honesty and compassion. She is co-author of the bestselling book Good Mourning: Honest Conversations About Grief and Loss and has been featured in ABC News, BBC Radio, Women’s Health, Marie Claire, and The Sydney Morning Herald. Sally is a leading voice in the grief space, blending lived experience with trauma-informed tools to support emotional wellbeing.
Connect with Sally on LinkedIn.
More like this:
6 tips to cope when the waves of grief hit
Understanding different grieving styles after family bereavement
Brain fog and grief: understanding the cognitive effects of loss
