You’ve probably heard that grief comes in waves — but sometimes, it crashes in like a grief bomb. Here’s what that really means, why it happens, and how to ride it out.
“As for grief, you’ll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float.”
– Unknown
Grief Hits in waves (or bombs): coping with sudden grief triggers
Maybe someone’s told you that grief hits in waves over time. It’s a common way people try to describe the emotional rollercoaster that is grief. But here at Good Mourning, we think “waves” doesn’t quite cut it. We call the waves of grief grief bombs. A wave feels way too gentle to explain the feeling of grief that hit you without warning. Maybe its unexpectedly triggered by something. Or maybe you think of your person or situation and WHAM! It’s like a grief explosion that catches you off guard and renders you a weeping mess. So yeah, bombs feel much more accurate.
Sal had one the other night. Even though it’s been five years, the feeling that came over her felt like she was right back at day one.
*Sal post grief bomb…excuse the headgear
It’s something we talk about extensively in our grief book, Good Mourning: Honest conversations about grief and loss. Why? Because it’s such an important topic to understand. And it can feel really confusing when you’re not sure what’s going on. And if you’re loss is recent, it might feel like they are happing all the time (which is normal, trust us).
Many people don’t realise intense surges of waves of grief don’t just show up in the early days. They can hit months or even years later. And it can feel exhausting and confusing when you’re not sure what’s going on. And if your loss is recent, it might feel like you’re stuck in wave after wave of grief (which is normal, trust us).
What actually helps?
We threw it out to our podcast listeners – aka real-time grievers – to ask for their advice. Here’s what some of them said:
💣 “Honour and accept it. If you’re in a public place and can go somewhere discreet, do that.”
💣 “When I’m overcome with grief, I find journalling to be a helpful way to not only process my emotions but also ground myself.”
💣 “Have someone you can call or go to. When it gets awful, having someone else is the only thing that helps. Grief can be far too heavy to carry on your own, and sometimes you need someone to lift you.”
💣 “As hard as the grief bombs can be, don’t fight them. You need to make time to feel it as soon as possible. Don’t bury your emotions.”
💣 “After my last grief bomb, I realised that I had to let myself feel. It’s spurred me to see a therapist, which has also helped.”
💣 “For me, one of the best coping tools came from CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and is to ground yourself in the moment with breathing and mindfulness. It’s been beneficial to learn that skill to take a pause and stand back. I’m more aware that I’m not in ‘that place’ or “that reality’, but in the here and now. It takes practice, but being mindful of the present moment and the breath has worked wonders.”
It’s also worth checking out this Reddit thread which has the full waves of grief poem.For more tips on navigating the moments when grief hits you in waves, listen to our past episode on the topic.
Looking for grief support? Explore tools, resources, and community that help:
If you’re looking for ongoing support as you navigate grief, the Good Mourning Grief Support Membership offers expert-informed tools, compassionate resources, and a supportive community to help you feel less alone. Whether you’re in early grief or rebuilding life after loss, our membership is designed to give you practical strategies, grief and loss tools, and guided support from people who truly get it. From exclusive grief resources to live sessions and expert Q&As, it’s a safe space for grieving people to explore how to cope with grief, process emotions, and build resilience, at your own pace.
Author bio:
Good Mourning is one of the world’s top grief podcasts, with over 1.2 million downloads and a loyal global community. Founded by grief educators and authors Sally Douglas and Imogen Carn, Good Mourning offers compassionate, relatable, and expert-informed content to help people navigate loss, grief, and healing. From bestselling books to community-led workshops and podcast interviews with leading experts, Good Mourning is a trusted grief support hub for anyone experiencing life’s hardest moments.
Learn more at goodmourning.com.au.
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